Fifteen Tips for At-Home Solo Writing Retreats While Other People Are Home
If having an At-Home Solo Writing Retreat sounds impossible because you don’t live alone, here are some tips to help you navigate your retreat’s time, space, and goals:
Wake up before everyone else and get started As Soon As Possible. The more you can do while everyone else is still sleeping, the better.
OR. Do a late-night retreat. Take a nap, have a cup of coffee with dinner, and try an At-Home Four-Hour Solo Writing Retreat from 8 p.m.-midnight after the kids are in bed and the adults are binging Netflix. Make sure you have time for a nap the next day, if possible!
OR. Do an At-Home Four-Hour Solo Writing Retreat spread out over a longer period of time. Do an hour before everyone else is awake, an hour during the baby’s mid-morning nap, an hour in the afternoon while hiding in the bathroom (see #11 and #12 below), and an hour from 9-10 p.m.
OR. Do two hours from 6-8 a.m. on a Saturday morning while everyone is still asleep and 6-8 a.m. the next day on Sunday morning while everyone else is still asleep.
Start with a 40-minute Re-Centering Micro Retreat to see how it works for you to retreat while others at home.
If a 40-minute Re-Centering Micro Retreat is the only feasible SDW At-Home Solo Writing Retreat option for this season of life, how often can you plan them? Every weekend? Three times each week? Daily?
Wear headphones or have another signal to let roommates or people in your family know you’re in Retreat Mode. I prefer over-the-ear headphones so people can see I really am busy. Airpods or other earbuds are too hard for others to notice. I also do my best to avoid eye contact. If I don’t look into their eyes, they can’t see me, right?
Be creative about childcare. Can you trade with your partner or a friend? You get four child-free hours for your retreat and they can have four child-free hours one day soon while you keep the kids.
Let go of the guilt. Everyone will be fine without your undivided attention for 40 minutes, four hours, or eight hours. If they will not be fine without your undivided attention, please save up to bring in reinforcements. Paying $15-20/hour for sitters or other caregiving services and leaving the house for your retreat may be a better option.
Say no to an upcoming trip. Can your partner go on an upcoming weekend trip to see their parents without you? (Yes!) Can your kids and partner go on a weekend getaway without you? (Yes!) Being home alone for a weekend while everyone else is out of town is one of my love languages. It’s glorious.
Be creative about your writing space. If you don’t have a dedicated office with a door you can close, make use of your car. (Yes! I’m serious! Retreat in your car while it’s parked in your driveway or garage.) Don’t knock it till you try it. Please be safe with regard to weather, exhaust fumes, etc.!
Or make use of your bathroom, walk-in closet, laundry room, hallway, etc. Throw a large floor cushion or two in the corner of a space you wouldn’t normally write in and see what happens. Again, don’t knock it till you try it. Sometimes you need to be able to hide from people to do your creative work, and hiding in the bathroom or another space can be good options.
Be flexible. If you plan your retreat and it all falls apart because the people in your home need you or a random emergency decides it’s time to rear its head or it’s just not working for whatever reason, let it go. It’s okay. Promise. Reassess in the coming days and figure out a new plan for having another At-Home Solo Writing Retreat one day soon or not-so-soon.
Remember: All of life is the writing life. If your retreat falls apart or feels undoable, it’s okay. It’s more than okay! You don’t have to have Solo Writing Retreats to have a nourishing writing practice. It’s just one tool, and maybe this isn’t the best time for you to have Solo Writing Retreats.
Maybe you need someone to help you figure out how to make your Solo Writing Retreats happen. If you’re thinking, “This all sounds great, but my circumstances really don’t lend themselves to having a Solo Writing Retreat at home or anywhere else,” you may need more customized retreat options. Email me at charlotte@charlottedonlon.com to set up a custom Solo Writing Retreat Planning Session.
Have more tips for making At-Home Writing Retreats work in the presence of others? I’d love to hear! Email me at charlotte@charlottedonlon.com or comment below!
ALSO: Need to get out of the house? Try The Barnes & Noble Solo Writing Retreat!